I didn’t plan a career pause during motherhood, but like so many women, it happened anyway—quietly, gradually, and without a roadmap back. I didn’t pick up The Power Pause because I was planning another career break. My own career pause in motherhood happened many years ago. I picked it up because Instagram kept suggesting Neha Ruch’s account while I was busy building @real_smoms and smoms.net – and after the tenth suggestion I thought, “Okay Instagram, I get it.”
And suddenly here’s Neha: gorgeous, articulate, polished, poised, saying things I’ve felt, but never said out loud. Basically the highly curated version of the inner monologue I had when I took my career break… minus the leaking breastmilk and the sleep deprivation.
So yes — I bought her book. And I’m glad I did. It helped me understand a chapter of my life I never dignified with a name.
The Career Pause Landscape in Motherhood (And Why It’s So Common)
When I started researching for Smoms (“S” for Second Act Moms), I dove into the data on stay-at-home moms, working moms, and everything in between. What I learned completely reframed how I think about career pauses in motherhood.
Here’s the gist:
- 1 in 3 moms with little kids (under the age of 6) aren’t doing any paid work (and I was one of them when I first paused)
- Once kids start school? It’s 1 in 5 (meaning 4 out of 5 ARE working in some form, after kids turn 6).
- And “working mom” includes ANY paid work — freelancing, Etsy, Instacart, content creation, all of it
- Source: Bureau of Labor Statistics
Most moms aren’t fully SAHM or fully working. They’re in the messy middle: half-working, half-parenting, half-wondering if yogurt tubes count as dinner. And by the time women are in their late 40s or 50s? 75% are back in the workforce. Which makes total sense…. kids grow up, life shifts, and the comeback begins.
My Career Pause Wasn’t Intentional — It Was Survival
I didn’t decide to step away from work for a “mindful pause” like Neha describes in her book. I lived in NYC at the time I had my first child, and I didn’t know that you had to get on a Daycare waitlist before you were pregnant in order to get into a good daycare near you. And no one told me that nannies would cost almost as much as rent.
I had worked my way up to a leadership role during the dot-com boom, and I loved my job. But when my daughter arrived? My body, my brain, my entire nervous system said:
“You’re not handing this baby to a stranger in 12 weeks.”
My job didn’t offer part-time options. So I stepped out. Not strategically. Not intentionally. Just… last minute – I decided to get out. But, back then nobody called it a career pause. It was just a decision. And at that time I was able to do it, my husband was making enough money, so I could.
The Early Years of Motherhood: Sweet, Exhausting, Identity-Shifting
Those first years were a blur of playgroups, stroller naps, and adult conversations that felt like oxygen. I found my people — the “EVill Mothers” of the East Village. We met in tiny apartments, traded survival tips, and compared sippy cups like they were designer handbags.
We didn’t talk about “returning to work after being a stay-at-home mom.” We talked about sleep regressions. We didn’t talk about our “career identity”. We talked about diaper creams. That was my motherhood career pause, even though I never called it that.
The Voice in My Ear: A Man Is Not a Financial Plan
My mother — a Jewish mother and a divorce attorney (imagine the intensity) — had thoughts about me pausing my career.
“Freelancing? That’s not a real job.”
“You’re making yourself vulnerable.”
“You need to work. What if—”
And then the line she repeated so often it’s practically tattooed on my soul: “A man is not a financial plan.”
I brushed it off in my 30s.
But In my 40s, when I god a divorce…. I understood.
In my 50s, I repeat it to other women like a public service announcement.
I did eventually take a part-time-from-home job early on, to appease her, but it was short-lived. Then I freelanced. Then I paused again. And then, motherhood being motherhood everything flipped. There are many options available these days for work from home / remote jobs for moms.
The Divorce That Forced My Return to Work (Ready or Not)
When my older daughter was seven and my younger was 14 months, I discovered my husband was having an affair. At the same time, my mother was preparing for a double mastectomy. Life didn’t gently nudge me back to work. It shoved me. To be clear: my ex did pay child support, and I’m grateful for that. But child support doesn’t cover the entirety of:
- daycare
- a mortgage
- health insurance
- groceries
- keeping two kids clothed
- the emotional load of doing everything alone
- Health Insurance for me
Freelancing would definitely enough anymore. I needed a real job (I guess my mom was right). With real benefits. So I went back — rusty, scared, exhausted, and utterly unprepared. Returning was 10 million times harder than pausing ever was.
The Job That Finally Let Me Breathe Again
After a miserable 90-minute commute for nearly two years, I reached my breaking point. I needed work that fit my life as a single mom — not the other way around. So I networked awkwardly, and started talking to anyone who would listen, about the kind of job I was looking for. I applied everywhere within a 10 mile radius. And guess what! I found a job ten minutes from home, with better pay, and with coworkers who also had families and understood.
It didn’t feel glamorous. It felt like oxygen. That was when my career comeback, really began. Messy, unplanned, imperfect… but real.
What “The Power Pause” Helped Me Understand About My Unintentional Pause
Reading The Power Pause helped me see myself differently.
Neha’s pause was intentional.
Mine was… whatever the opposite of that is.
But her book helped me realize that even unplanned pauses in motherhood shape us. They count, they matter, we grow from them, and they deserve language and dignity too.
Neha’s message in her book – elevates the idea of stepping back from a career intentionally. And if you are in a position to be able to do this, I applaud this! And I wish with all my heart that there were more options and opportunities for women to be able to do this. My lived experience, focuses more on how hard it was to step back into work. and also, self-reflection on regaining my own financial independence.
Not everyone gets a curated, mindful, financially supported pause.
Some moms pause because they choose to.
Others pause because life gives them no choice.
And the moms who struggle the most with returning to work are maybe the ones who least intended to pause. These are the moms I built Smoms for:
- the mom who returns because she needs health insurance
- the mom who didn’t plan her comeback
- the mom reentering after divorce
- the mom whose skills feel outdated
- the mom who feels “ancient” next to her new coworkers
- the mom who doesn’t know where to start
- the mom searching “how to go back to work after 10 years at home” at midnight
Neha dignifies the pause. I help women navigate the comeback. Both sides of this motherhood-career story deserve support.
Why I’m Building The Career Comeback Roadmap™
My comeback was way harder than it needed to be. I wish there had been:
- a plan
- a checklist
- a translation guide for “mom skills”
- a confidence boost
- a realistic strategy for reentry
So I’m building it — for the moms who need it now.
The Career Comeback Roadmap™ is my way of saying:
You are not behind or broken, and you are not starting from scratch. You’re starting from LIVED experience that adds value to your skills.
To the Mom Who Has to Go Back (Especially If You’re Not Ready)
If your stomach is in knots because you know you need to return to work…
You can do this.
You will do this.
Your confidence will catch up.
Your kids will adjust.
You might even thrive in ways you don’t see yet.
Motherhood has seasons. A pause is one. A comeback is another. And both belong to you.