Will My Kids Be Okay If I Go Back to Work?

If you’re a stay-at-home single mom returning to work or planning to return to work, and navigating a divorce, you’re likely feeling pulled in a dozen directions. You’re processing emotional pain, worrying about your financial future, and above all—trying to protect your children from further upheaval. Now, the prospect of going back to work, getting a job, and rebuilding your career adds another layer to your already complex world. Finding appropriate jobs for single mothers can feel overwhelming and scary, but it is also an opportunity for you to model to your kids, how to handle adversity.

And maybe, just maybe, you’re hearing that inner voice ask:

“Will going back to work hurt my children?”
“Am I choosing survival over their emotional security?”

Let’s stop and breathe—because you are not alone, and more importantly, you are not failing. This isn’t a choice between your children’s well-being and your independence. It’s an opportunity to build strength for both.

What Research Really Says About Kids and Working Moms

The belief that kids do best only when mom stays home full-time is outdated. What actually matters more is the emotional climate of the home—not the number of hours you spend in it.

Studies reveal that:

• Children in financially stable homes experience better developmental outcomes, even in single-parent families.
• Kids benefit emotionally from watching their mothers work, persist, and adapt.
• A secure, loving connection has more impact than constant physical proximity.

Translation? Going back to work isn’t selfish—it’s powerful. It models strength, self-respect, and the ability to rebuild after adversity.

Yes, There Will Be an Adjustment When you Return to Work — And That’s Okay

Let’s get real: as a single mom returning to work, there might be tears on your first day or week, or month back—yours, and your children’s. That doesn’t mean you’re doing the wrong thing. It means change is hard. But you’re doing it with love. Adapting to change shows resilience and modeling resilience to your children is a lifelong gift you can give them. Life is not always perfect, and when it is not, we don’t fall down, we adapt and we adjust and we make the best of it.

Kids don’t need a perfect, ever-present parent. They need:

• Consistency: Predictable routines build security
• Love: Quality time, even in short bursts, matters
• Presence: Being emotionally available is more important than being physically present all day

Evenings, weekends, car rides, dinners and bedtime chats become meaningful bonding moments. You’ll find a rhythm.

Letting Go of Guilt: A Mother’s Quiet Battle

That guilt? It whispers things like:
“If you were a good mom, you wouldn’t leave.”
“Your kids will suffer without you.”

But guilt isn’t truth. It’s fear masquerading as concern.

Here’s the reality:

• Your children need food, shelter, and stability—needs that your income can support.
• They need a mother who isn’t living in survival mode.
• They need to see that women can be both loving and strong, nurturing and independent.

You are not leaving your kids—you’re rising up to the occasion, to provide for them. You are taking care of them.

5 Powerful Ways to Ease the Transition Back to Work

1. Communicate Openly

Use age-appropriate language to explain the changes. Reassure them that they are safe and loved, no matter where you are.

2. Create Connection Rituals

A special goodbye handshake, evening storytime, or Saturday morning pancakes can anchor your bond. I used to do brunches or mani-pedi time with my girls. They still ask me to do this with them 10+ years later!

3. Choose Childcare with Care

Whether it’s a sitter, a daycare center, or after-school programs, the goal is emotional safety. Ask your kids for input and keep communication open. If you or your kids are not happy with the childcare situation, find a new one. When you are a single mom returning to work, Childcare you like, will make a huge difference. I had au-pairs (some good, some bad), daycare (mostly good), high school sitters (some good, some bad). Now that my kids are older, we tell jokes about the bad ones. The ones we loved, we still keep in touch with, they are like a part of our family.

4. Ask for Help

Don’t go it alone. Tap into your village—friends, family, co-workers. Support can lighten the load and remind you that you’re not alone.

5. Reconnect with Your “Why”

You’re not just going to work. You’re rebuilding a life filled with hope, stability, and possibility. And that’s a legacy your children will one day cherish.

Final Thought: They’ll Be Okay—Because You Are Showing Them How

Right now, this season might feel like everything is falling apart. But it’s also where everything begins again.

You might have to “fake it until you make it” for a time, but you are teaching your kids resilience. By making brave choices, you’re laying the foundation for their own courage.

Someday, they’ll look back and say:
“My mom did the hard thing—and she did it with love.”

“When my mom was a Single Mom Returning to Work, she made it seem easy.”

Frequently Asked Questions

How can I explain my return to work to my children?

Use simple, reassuring words: “Mommy is going to work so we can have a safe home and yummy food, and nice clothes. I’ll always be here for hugs and bedtime stories.” I definitely had my kids give me a guilt trip sometimes, “all the other moms were there” – my answer to that is, “Mommy has to work, its another way of me taking care of you and our home, I wish I could have come, but how about you and I do something special together this weekend to make up for it! Something fun for the two of us, like a mommy daughter brunch.” My girls still ask me to do mommy daughter brunches now, 10 years later.

What are signs my child is adjusting well?

Look for stable mood, regular sleep and appetite, and comfort with their caregivers. Temporary clinginess is normal but should ease with time. My younger daughter was more impacted then my older daughter by my return to work, but now that she is older, she loves that she has a working mom, and has dreams of running her own business some day.

How do I manage feelings of guilt?

Focus on your purpose. Remind yourself daily that you’re working to provide and protect—and that is love in action. Making sure you are financially sound, is taking care of your children!

What resources are available for single working mothers?

Local support groups, state-funded childcare assistance, parenting classes, and online communities can provide help and reassurance. Lean on family and friends. You will find a way to return the favors at some point.

How can I maintain strong connections with limited time?

Plan micro-moments—5-minute talks, notes in lunchboxes, weekend adventures. It’s the intention, not the duration, that counts. Looking back on my career during my time as a single parent, I treasured my time with my children, in a different way that when I was a SAHM. I was worried about not being home with my children as the sole caregiver. In hindsight, I think it made us even closer.